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life's not fair - tlexusp lyrics

life isn’t always fair. we know that and yet we still keep telling ourselves that everything is okay when we know deep inside nothing is okay

all my life i’ve been on my own most of the time that i tell people true facts about my childhood and how i grew up know one will believe me and it’s kind of sad that i have so bad trust issues to the point where i don’t believe that anyone loves me and thats why i tend to stay out of dating situations because i don’t know what will happen and if i can trust them or not i mean i barely trust me mom and dad it’s like their a figment of my imagination that i created because i wanted to be happy but i’m still not truly happy i don’t know who to talk to about this it seems like i won’t talk to anyone with trust truly and that’s what keeps me on my feet i need to improve for van my little sister shes so afraid of our past and i understand i may be being a bit harsh but she didn’t go through what i did she went through 2/10 of what i went through and i know it’s not right to compare but if she was in my shoes and i was in hers she’d feel the same way as me and sometimes when i think of her i have memories when she used to scream my name when she needed help and i have never been so worried about whether or not she loves me but it doesn’t matter because if she hates me at least i know but her parents are so immature and childish they think that their doing whats best for her but their not considering how i feel and i don’t think they care. van almost forgot i existed until she heard a song every time she hears it she thinks of me but when i hear it i think of me, her, and our biological mother and father i don’t really consider them as family anymore but i still have to because their in my genetics it was a precaution that if a child was born to be the oldest daughter of cody my biological father that no matter what happened i would still have to consider them as a part of my family and my life i don’t want to but i don’t have a choice it’s like a curse and let me explain why i feel like it’s a curse my biological parents tabitha and cody were very abusive my father was constantly angry so he would take his anger out on me like a punching bag and my mother used me as a verbal trash bag that she could talk about. she didn’t know that i felt that she wasn’t a mother but a horrible person and i don’t know much about my ancestry, i hated not knowing why i had a apple tree in my backyard but i realized that the tree was planted by my ancestry johnny chapman, i loved the apples they made me happy and so did van her name before she was adopted was vanity the problem was she didn’t have her name tattooed on our mothers wrist. mine was but her’s wasn’t. trinity was tattooed on her wrist and i was happy about me at least mattering to her. i thought that she wouldn’t care if i was alive or not and don’t worry i wasn’t going to plan anything

- tlexusp lyrics

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