
boogers & cum (live) - trey parker & matt stone lyrics
[opening cartoon]: eric cartman, mr. rodriguez, man customer, woman customer
*cartman eating*
okay, here you go, amigo! another taco plate and the taquitos
oh, thank you. and, uh did i mention i am a food critic for yelp?
yes, you mentioned that several times
okay, i just didn’t want you caught off*guard. i was thinking of giving this place 5 stars
really?
yeah, but i’m kind of t**tering on 5 stars or 1 star
ohnono. no 1 star, please. what could we do to*?
ah, i mean, i could probably be persuaded with some free desserts
let me get that for you
great, and can you turn down the music a bit? this pagan sh*t hurts my ears
of course!
hi, two of us for lunch, please
yes, right away!
oh, and uh, i just wanted to mеntion that my wife and i are yelp rеviewers, so uh, your best table, please
oh jeez, you guys too, huh? ho*kay, uhm, i’ll get you set up right over here, okay?
hm, this place seems, nice
i guess we’ll see
d’i guess we’ll see, won’t we?
oh god, now everyone thinks they’re a food critic
[intro]: trey parker
we have any yelp reviewers in the audience?
(cheers)
’cause you know what they do to your food, right?
(cheers)
[verse one]
so you’re one of yelpers’ special blessed
you demand a restaurant’s very best
well, they’re gonna treat you special, i’m tellin’ you, chum
now get yourself ready for some boogers and cum
(boogers and cum)
(boogers and cum)
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
[verse two]
(boogers and cum)
that’s called “the yelper special”!
(boogers and cum)
say, what’s that on your pretzel?
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
your online critiques are real useful to some
now have a good time eatin’ boogers and cum
[verse three]
(boogers and cum)
someone farted on your salad
(boogers and cum)
but your décor critiques are valid
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
you think you’re special, like you’re a*number one*
well, there’s a whole lot of special in boogers and cum
[verse four]
(boogers and cum)
how ’bout some feces with your flounder?
(boogers and cum)
you like that queefy quarter pounder?
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
what’s that spice that’s all tangy on your tongue?
oh, that’s a yuzu pepper and boogers, and cum
[pre*bridge]
(boogers and cum)
hey!
(boogers and cum)
look we got a yelp reviewer right here!
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
come on up here guy!
they’re gonna jack off in your food
[bridge]
*tap dancing*
(boogers and cum)
(boogers and cum)
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
(boogers and cum)
they’re gonna wipe their ass
(boogers and cum)
and put it in your food
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
along with a whole lotta boogers and cum!
[verse five]
(boogers and cum)
being a food critic’s easy
(boogers and cum)
oh, you feel a little queasy?
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
do you need a diagnosis? well, the doctor’s got one
your stomach’s all filled with boogers and cum
[verse six]
(boogers and cum)
p*ss in your potatoes
(boogers and cum)
some guy sh*t on your tomatoes
(ooh*ooh*ooh*ooh)
alright, fancy food critic, looks like you’ve won
now please enjoy all the… boo*oo*oogers
boo*oo*oo*oo*oogers
boo*oo*oo*oo*oo*oo*oogers
…and cum!
(cum!)
enjoy all your boogers and cum!
[outro]
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