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open space - tttoby lyrics

*windows 98 startup sound*
*sound of vhs tape being inserted into player*
*static*

[sample: steven he]
h*llo, and welcome to the asian shopping channel!
today we have some fantastic asian tupperware for you at a price that i know you will love
we’re gonna start off with a fantastic liquid and solid food container
bang! chicken in there
bang! fried rice in there
bang! slap some curry in that
pow! put it in your son’s lunchbox, and he’s gonna have the best day at school
here we have an extremely cutting*edge air*tight lid that you can just snap onto the bottle like this, listen…
but you might ask yourself:
what’s better than a perfectly multipurpose cylinder liquid container?
bang! two perfect multipurpose liquid containers!
that’s right, we’re throwing in an extra one for absolutely no charge if you call right now!
pow! but there’s more!!!
if you’re gonna be one of the first callers, guess what you get:
pow!!! that’s right, we’re throwing in the biggest container to date: cheese puffs!!! h*ll yeah!!!
favorite container of the year!!!
it can store up to seven days of food!!!
so call now, and buy our package for only $2.99!!!

- tttoby lyrics

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