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lirik lagu ti kwan leep – the frantics

master: approach students. close the circle at the feet of the master. you have come to me asking that i be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-leep, but be warned. to learn it’s ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. let us meditate on this wisdom now.

ed: uh sir… sir… ooo! ooo! sir!

master: who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond?

ed: me. ed gooberman.

master: e… ed gooberman.

ed: yeah. no disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?

master: tae-kwon-leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

ed: so like, what, an hour or so?

master: no, no. we have not even begun upon the path. ed gooberman, you must learn patience.

ed: yeah, yeah, patience. how long will that take?

master: time has no meaning. to a true student, a year is as a day.

ed: a year! i wanna beat people up right now! i got the pajamas. ha… yo… wa… wooo!

master: beat people up?

ed: yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so i can start trashing bozo’s. that’s all i came here for. yo-as-ta-ta-shah! pretty good aye?

master: the only use of tae-kwon-leep is self defense. do you know who said that? ki-lo-knee, the great teacher.

ed: yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense. do you know who said that? mel, the cook on alice.

master: well, umm… tae-kwon leep is the wine of purity, not the vinigar of hostility. meditate on this truth with us. ahhh… ohhhhh…

ed: listen shrimp, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am i gonna start waping the walls with you?

master: ed gooberman, you fail to grasp tae-kwon leep. approach me so that you may see.

ed: alright, finally some action.

master: observe closely cl-ss. boot to the head [boom].
ed: ow, you booted me in the head!

master: you are lucky ed gooberman. few novices experiece so much of tae-kwon leep so soon.

ed: ow, oh, my head.

master: now we continue.

ed: hey, hey, i wasn’t ready! come and get me now, come on, are you chicken?

master: boot to the head [boom].
ed: ow! okay, now i’m ready, come on, try it now.
master: boot to the head [boom].

ed: mind if i just lie down here for a minute? ow.

master: now cl-ss, we shall return to our…

student 1: master.

master: it is wrong to tip the vessle of knowledge student.

student 1: many apologies master, but i feel ed gooberman is not wholly wrong.

master: what do you mean?

student 1: i want to boot some head too.
master: have you learned nothing from the lesson of ed gooberman?

student 1: yes master, i have learned two things. first, that anger is a weapon only to ones oppenent.

master: very good.

student 1: and get in the first shot. boot to the head [half a boom].
master: you missed.

student 1: uh, yeah, well…

master: you to shall be honored to learn a lesson.

student 1: ya know, i can… you don’t have to ya know… i gotta be going…

master: boot to the head [boom].

student 1: ooo… ya… ehh… ooooogggg… awwwwww

master: can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

student 2: uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you.

master: you gain wisdom child.

student 2: so we’ll have to gang up on you! get him now!

master: boot… [boom]… boot to… [boom]… ht… [boom], [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom], [boom] [boom]… [boom]

master: and now cl-ss, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. ahh… owwww…

students: ahhh… oooooowwwww…

master: very good, cl-ss.

- the frantics

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