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give santa the sack - utsav bhargava & thayne jasperson lyrics

[karl the elf]
gather round, my fellow elves
come, it’s christmas eve
time for our holiday huddle
tomorrow’s the happiest day of the year
so shouldn’t tonight be for laughter and cheer?
for carols, and cookies, and loving thy neighbor?
that’s just for humans
we elves get to labor
let me tell you how the stocking gets stuffed
we’re more or less indentured servants
we only exist to work
assembling toys for daddy christmas
well i say daddy’s a jerk
we must unite the elf nation
and put an end to elf*ploytation
if we want the rights we lack
it’s time to give santa the sack!
the north pole schools: he cut their funding
our elf*care system’s a mess
the only mode of public transit’s
the polar—frickin’—express
and santa claims:
“it’s fine and dandy”
that all we ever earn is candy
can’t pay my loans off with a snack
it’s time to give santa the sack!
take him by surprise
when we unionize
tell each elf to get off their shelf
‘cause it’s time to give santa the sack!
and it’s not just the elves that he’s mistreating!
rudolph’s on the run from poachers
who wanna profit off his pelt
the gingerbread housing market crashed
when the polar caps started to melt
we’ve got to close the ginger wage gap
for the new mrs. claus
also, i don’t love that age gap
we’ll show them all we’ve got their back
it’s time to give santa the sack!
strike!
to let them know
[ensemble]
let them know!

[karl]
cringle’s got to go

[ensemble]
got to go!

[karl]
candy cane signs on the picket lines
sayin:
time to give santa the sack!

[ensemble]
ho, ho, ho!
santa claus has got to go!
hey, hey!
[?]
santa claus has got to go!
hey, hey!
[?]
santa claus has got to go!
hey, hey!
[?]
santa claus has got to go!
[karl]
so now there’s excitement
for santa’s indictment
cause for me, it’s a matter of pride
we were roommates in uni
our dorm room was puny
and he never cleaned his side
well he stole he stole my invention
of reindeer suspension
and i never saw a cent
well he’s used my utensils
and borrowed my pencils!
and i don’t know where they went!
so yeah
it’s personal
well now, at last
i’ll have my vengeance!
i’ll get him out of my way!
i’ll finally know what power feels like
when i take over his sleigh!
and once we’re done with this improvement
we’re gonna start a global movement!
workers of the world, unite!
we’ll be making spirits bright
goodbye, nicholas
old saint [?]
it’s time to give
time to give
time to give
time to give
santa—!
oh!
[karl laughs]

[karl]
mr. claus!
good evening, sir
um
yes, we got all your toys right here for you
in this big bag
come on, everyone!
it’s time to give santa
the sack

- utsav bhargava thayne jasperson lyrics

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