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phoenix, arizona - valerie vigoda lyrics

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[bruce, spoken]
babe, it’s bruce calling, your baby daddy. guess what i’ve been working on, huh? a beautiful song just for you!

[bruce]
scranton, pennsylvania, is confusing just like you

[kat, spoken]
what?

[bruce]
boston, massachusetts, is so hostile just like you
muncie, indiana, makes me want to call you up and tell you
who’s your boyfriend? me!

[bruce, spoken]
get it? hoosier?

[bruce]
you’re the very best thing i’ve ever known
don’t hang up the phone

[kat, spoken]
bruce, why are you calling?

[bruce, spoken]
you need me, babe, and zach needs me, too. oh, but listen*

[bruce]
phoenix, arizona’s super hot, a lot like you
anchorage, alaska, is so gorgeous, just like you
oklahoma city just reminds me that a life without you
cannot be ok

you’re the very best thing i’ve ever known
i’m so alone

- valerie vigoda lyrics

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