poem for dino - virginia's basement lyrics
i only ever knew you in absence
which is not to say i only knew you in past tense
you are ever*present
i’ve glimpsed you in the loving eyes of the people i love most
i’ve heard you in the soft laughter of my best friend
and in the glitter and gravel sound of the song that shares your name
i’ve felt you in the way i hold on too tight to my baby brother’s hand
and in the way i’ll probably always call them my “baby” brother
i’ve known you in my cousins and friends
who were alive one day and gone the next
i’ve known you in the color orange
a color that means caution, care, your color
the color of the treeline on the day you were taken
the leaves getting ready to drop like tears
the color of the ribbons that waved for you every day since
tied to trees and lamp posts of a neighborhood that loves you
standing solid as a mother in a country that continuously fails you
fails us
a country that sees deaths like yours as a fact to move past, step over
a country that saw your death and thought, “of course”
a country that wants to see us past tense and won’t
they won’t because even in death
you endure, unfold, expand, ever*present
i am always learning new pieces of you
your favorite songs, your favorite beer
how much you wanted to keep people safe
and leave the world better than you found it
how you made people want to be better
how you still do
it’s been a year
a year of fear and rage and burning and shattering
of unsent letters, of tear*drunk pillows
and still more than anything
love remains
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