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apology to myself - weglobe lyrics

[intro]
i’ve been meaning to say this for a long time
i just… i didn’t know how
but i think i’m ready now

[verse 1]
dear me, i owe you an apology
for every time i looked at you and saw an anomaly
instead of seeing magic, i saw something to fix
instead of seeing progress, i saw someone to critique
i’m sorry for the nights i kept you up with worry
replaying every failure like a judge and jury
convicting you of crimes you ain’t even commit
holding you responsible for things you couldn’t predict
i’m sorry for the mirror, for the words i used
“stupid,” “ugly,” “worthless”—yeah, i called you those
i’m sorry for believing what the bullies said
and carrying their voices long after they left
i internalized the hate and made it my own language
spoke to myself with violence, caused my own damage
you didn’t deserve that, you was just a kid
trying to survive, that’s exactly what you did

[pre*chorus]
(vocals swell, saxophone rises)
and surviving was enough
even when i told you it wasn’t
surviving was enough
i’m sorry i ever made you feel like it wasn’t
[chorus]
i forgive myself, i forgive myself
for not knowing what i didn’t know
i forgive myself, i forgive myself
sometimes the hardest thing is letting go
of the me i used to be
of the pain i used to breathe
i’m setting us both free
i forgive myself

[verse 2]
i’m sorry for the relationships i kept you in
knowing they was poison but i let you sip again
i told you that you didn’t deserve no better
so you stayed in storms and called it weather
i’m sorry for the dreams i told you were too big
for the passion projects i convinced you not to dig
into, ’cause “who are you to want that much?”
i’m sorry i made your ambition feel like it was too much
i’m sorry for the food, for punishing your body
for the times i starved you, called it being godly
for the times i numbed you ’cause feeling was too heavy
i’m sorry i abandoned you when you wasn’t ready
to be alone, but i left anyway
chasing validation that would never stay
while you was in the corner waiting for me to return
i’m sorry that it took this long to learn
[pre*chorus]
that you were always worth it
even when i made you feel worthless
you were always perfect
in your imperfection, there was purpose

[chorus]
i forgive myself, i forgive myself
for not knowing what i didn’t know
i forgive myself, i forgive myself
sometimes the hardest thing is letting go
of the me i used to be
of the pain i used to breathe
i’m setting us both free
i forgive myself

[bridge]
i know sorry doesn’t erase it
i know words can’t replace the years i wasted
hating you, blaming you, shaming you
but i’m done with that
i’m done with that
you did the best you could
with what you had
with what you knew
and that’s enough
that was always enough
[verse]
so here’s my promise moving forward, me to me
i’ll talk to you the way i’d talk to someone i love deeply
i’ll celebrate the wins instead of minimize the progress
i’ll rest when i’m tired without calling myself thoughtless
i’ll look in the mirror and find something worth praising
even on the days when everything feels crazy
i’ll protect your peace like it’s the only thing that matters
’cause it is, and i’m done letting it shatter
i’m done being my own enemy
i’m done treating myself like a penalty
for existing, for wanting, for trying, for being
from now on, i’m believing
in you, in me, in us, in this
consider this my first act of self*forgiveness

[chorus]
i forgive myself, i forgive myself (i forgive you)
for not knowing what i didn’t know (how could you know?)
i forgive myself, i forgive myself (let it go)
sometimes the hardest thing is letting go
of the me i used to be (goodbye)
of the pain i used to breathe (breathe now)
i’m setting us both free (we’re free)
i forgive myself

[outro]
i’m sorry
i love you
thank you
i forgive you

- weglobe lyrics

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