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lord of the rings disco (one funk to rule them all) - wickedai lyrics

[intro]
the elves were given the ethereal high notes of glam rock
the dwarves were gifted the heavy bass of metal
and the race of men desired above all else
the catchy hook of pop

but they were all deceived, for another track was made
in the land of mordor, in the fires of mount doom
the dark lord forged a master track
and into this composition he pourеd
his cruelty, his malice
and his will…
to get down

[verse 1]
down in thе dark beneath the roots of stone
that creature they call gollum, he was dancing all alone
but then a mr. baggins came sneaking through the gloom
where he found a golden circle that would seal his fate with doom

they played a game of riddles in the cold and pitchy black
with the creature getting closer for a juicy hobbit snack
but the burglar held a secret that he kept inside his coat
and the question was a weapon pointed at the creature’s throat

the ring betrayed its master, it wanted to be free
to find a brand*new keeper for its disco melody
he slipped it on his finger and he vanished into air
then he left the creature screaming in a panic of despair
[pre*chorus]
but when you put it on, you feel the fever start
a heavy bassline thumping deep inside your tiny heart
it spins you round and round till you’re caught inside the trance
there’s simply no escaping the dark power of the dance

you can hide from all your friends, but not the lidless eye
it sees you burning brightly beneath the mordor sky
the wraiths are riding out upon their horses black
there is only going forward and there is no going back

[chorus]
’cause there’s just one funk to rule them all
and just one funk to find them
just one funk to bring them all
and in the disco bind them

[verse 2]
the age of men is coming to an end
you have no ally and you have no friend
surrender your will to the beat of the drum
the time of the orc has finally come

the eye is open and its vision wide
there’s nowhere left for you to hide
i see the hobbit and i see the king
i am the lord of the disco ring
[verse 3]
the ring passed to his nephew who was barely thirty*three
a sprightly lad named frodo and his friend samwise gamgee
but the wizard saw the danger in that precious elven gold
so he cast it in the fire and it came out burning cold

you have to keep it secret and you have to keep it safe
or you’ll find yourself in danger from the evil shadow wraith
our poor hobbits had to leave the shire with the riders on their tail
even strider knew that things were dire and the mission couldn’t fail

they found safety in the elven valley with the council of the wise
but the men of gondor wouldn’t rally, they had fear inside their eyes
“one can’t simply walk right into mordor,” said the shadow of the eye
but the hobbit said he’d cross the border — or at least he had to try

[bridge]
every step you take is getting slower
the burning cuts into your skin
while the bass is getting ever lower
that’s when the voices start to win

“i can make you powerful and strong”
this temptation’s tearing you apart
“i can make you play the perfect song
disco darkness in your heart”
the ring, it whispers silky silent secrets
it puts your spirit to the test
the rhythm sends a shiver down your spine
“forget about the wizard and the quest”

it will tell you things you want to hear
“just put me on and take the throne
you’ve been struggling for so very long
now you’ll never dance alone”

[chorus]
’cause there’s just one funk to rule them all
and just one funk to find them
just one funk to bring them all
and in the disco bind them

[verse 4]
the age of men is coming to an end
you have no ally and you have no friend
surrender your will to the beat of the drum
the time of the orc has finally come

my eye is open and my vision wide
there’s nowhere left for you to hide
i see the hobbit and i see the king
i am the lord of the disco ring

[outro]
frodo stood above the sea of fire
and refused to let it go
he had claimed the funk as his desire
then disappeared as samwise shouted, “no!”

funky frodo appeared with just nine fingers
he had lost the ring of doom
why does he have nine fingers?
where is the ring of doom?

the creature gollum held it to the sky
then in his mania he fell
and he took the magic of the eye
back into the pits of h*ll

the dark tower has fallen
the master track is silenced
the time of the elves is over

but the funk…
the funk belongs to the age of men

(chorus repeats until end)

- wickedai lyrics

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