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miracle of judaism (falsettoland) - william finn lyrics

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[jason]
dot nardoni, tiffany axelrod
zoe feinstein, angelina dellibovi
bunny doyne, or what’s her name
mo cristifaro, or heather leavin
brittany rosenthal, which
flo giu… giu… what is the name if that b*tch?
flo giuseppe, right, but it borders on kitsch

of these girls
which should i invite to my bar mitzvah?
i’ve a problem to flaunt
i don’t want the girls i should want!

[commentator]
batter up!

[jason]
i want girls for whom i l*st
girls who wear a lot of makeup
girls who flaunt and show their bust
girls with whom i always wake up

[commentator]
strike one!
[jason]
would they come though
if they were invited
and not
laugh at my hebrew
and not
laugh at my father and his friends

[commentator]
strike two!

[jason]
excluding them, i find exciting
and i’m left with them, i’ll be inviting
selecting girls for one’s bar mitzvah
god, that’s the miracle of judaism

[commentator]
strike three, you’re out!

[jason]
that’d be the miracle of judaism

- william finn lyrics

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