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pass the football - wonderful town lyrics

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look at me now
four years of college
famous professors
tutoring me

scholarship kid
everything paid for
food and vacations
all of it free

day that i left
everyone gathered
their cheering still rings in my ears

ray wreck rah
rah wreck ray
rah wreck
wreck rah
rah wreck, wreck
wreck, we love you

’cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin’ you have ever seen

couldn’t spell a lick
couldn’t do arithmetic
one and one made three
thought that dog was c a t

but i could p-ss that football
like nothin’ you have ever seen

couldn’t write my name
couldn’t translate ‘je vous aime’
never learned to read
mother goose or andre gide

but i could p-ss that football
like nothin’ you have ever seen

couldn’t figure riddles
puzzles made me pout
where the h-ll was moses
when the lights went out?

i couldn’t even tell red from green
get those verbs through my bean
but i was buddies with the dean
like nothin’ you have ever seen

p-ssed without a fuss
english lit. and calculus
never had to cram
even p-ssed the bar exam

’cause i p-ssed that football
like nothin’ you have ever seen

couldn’t dance for beans
mashed my girls to smithereens
sometimes blood was spilled
still my card was always filled

’cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin’ you have ever seen

then there was the week
albert einstein came to speak
‘relativity’
guess who introduced him? me

’cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin’ you have ever seen

had no table manners
used to dunk my roll
always drunk the water from the fingerbowl

though i would not get up for any she
the prexy’s mom, age ninety-three
got up and gave her seat to me
like nothin’ you did ever see

in our hall of fame
there’s a statue with my name
there we stand, by heck
lincoln, washington and wreck

’cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin’ you have ever, ever seen

- wonderful town lyrics

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