lirik lagu …and a better life. – byron henderson
[intro]
to a brighter future…
[hook]
there’s a war going on outside
it coincides with the war going in my head
got no place to run, no place to hide
because barely anyone really knows who i am
[bridge]
no matter how hard i— hard i try
their reckless words are always thoughts in my mind
in my mind
in my heart i— still i fight
i found a home in someone’s arms
and a better—
…and a better life
[verse 1]
looking around, all i hear is laughter
the curtains fall, so i’m looking up for moral support
only to see my deadname in the rafters
the man i’m conditioned to pray to absent
today is nothing more than another prеlude to disaster
i feel an itch i’ll nevеr be able to scratch
glance away when facing mirrors, i’m passive
past actions haunt, but being stationary is a recipe for disaster
more despair, more dysmorphic thoughts appear, more relapsing
in my book of life, i’d rewrite this whole chapter
[refrain]
maybe with patience i’ll be comfortable with myself
learn to love my body one day
love myself one day, one day
my urges swell when my scars begin to heal
but i’ll get there someday
long as i’m home, i’m safe—
i’m safe with you
[verse 2]
plenty reckless death going door to door
i’m caring less and less about more and more
learned my lesson
they load the clip til it’s full, and it’s known as their tongue
words exit the chamber of the core, mouth is your gun
hurt people start never ending wars
more shattered hearts at the morgue
the more i keep falling short, the higher i’m strung
constant reminders of my desire to be who i want
grossest feeling is knowing that something’s wrong, but i don’t know what
so i run
no looking back cause when i cried, i got numb
the war was never with the world
it’s all inside, i succumb
stretching my garments, maybe i’ll have better form as long as i’m blunt
so many feelings i keep bottling up
the way of the world ain’t acceptance
this fire inside has me bout to erupt
so it’s obvious, i’m in a rut
and ominous thoughts begin to bubble
my fear is i start to burden the person i love to talk to with my troubles
that’s when i shut down, and realize all of my flaws begin to double
the cause is feeling unlike myself, and y’all just harp on all of my struggles, dawg
[beat switch]
[intro]
i don’t want to die
i don’t want to lie
i just want to be okay
i don’t want to break another promise
i just want to love me for me
if you don’t mind, please lead the way
[hook]
just know it ain’t you or my girl that i want to leave
cause i know you would both give the world for me
i’m not alone, but i am sometimes
in my mind
[post*hook]
but i won’t ever give my soul
i’ll never give my soul
i’ll never give my soul
said i’ll never give my soul
[verse 3]
i don’t depend on law enforcement
they enforce division
too often, i’ve seen my portion
for that cancer, there’s no remission
astonished, men bend the knee and die martyrs over religion
my scars been easy to see, render my mind to a broken prison
the passive aggressive attack of my omnipresent depression left me alone as the cracks in my mental health by the second worsen
i’m certain, my first option is death
some don’t accept the burden
my virgin mind doesn’t mean i still ain’t requesting curtains
pressure and expectations left me swerving
got to hit the brakes fore i break
feeling like the world ends every single day
self hatred overflows, if i overdose, hearts will ache
party’s over though
growing older, life is overrated
sometimes i don’t want to be here, my anxiety refills
my cup has runneth over, all my insecurities spill
society’s a cesspool, binamu understands me
open arms, open ears, a shoulder to cry on is what you grant me
even through mistakes, no judgement
just actions rectified as needed
accepts me as i am, motivation to not keep secrets
never betray my trust
with each other, the odds were beaten
your super power’s advice
my power comes from you believing i can be whoever, whenever
that’s a freedom they’ll never buy
with both you and my girl, my bond deepens
cause therapy ain’t for everybody, can’t pacify my demons
but i pinky promise i’ll try to heal
i’m just tired of being here
[hook]
just know it ain’t you or my girl that i want to leave
cause i know you would both give the world for me
i’m not alone, but i am sometimes
in my mind
[post*hook]
but i won’t ever give my soul
i’ll never give my soul
i’ll never give my soul
said i’ll never give my soul
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