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lirik lagu cider diaries/epilepsy – ciaran murphy

one early friday mornin’, i was on my way to school
when i met with max giollagáin and that other hippie fool
and they were humpin’ bags of cider like a brit would hold his gun
and i watched the grins grow wider at the risin’ of the sun
and i asked them, were they mad as they huddled at the door
and just said ‘pip, you shoulda seen the craic we’d had the night before’

and i was barely fifteen years and lookin’ to break free
i’d had enough of childhood, it’d had enough of me
and i didn’t need convincin’ when the bottle was passed round
and i dropped the books and watched thе bus head out towards the town
and when that day was gonе, my life had changed forever
i was never where i wanted to be
i hung out with trees in all kinds of weather
and i chanced my arm at drinkin’ the sea
well, it wouldn’t be the last time that me head spun to the ground
at first, i heard the laughter and then i couldn’t hear a sound
when i woke up, it was dark and there was n0body around
i was lyin’ in the hedgerow and the rain was p*ssin’ down
oh, but still in all, my eyes had been opened
now i felt that i was comin’ up for air
sacred water offered wisdom, strength and hope and
every bottle brought me up and i was there

so i put my faith in punk and teenage dreams
i fell in love with cider and the cold psychotic screams
see, back then i loved to hate the world, i’d wake up with a frown
i hoped that god would come along and turn it upside down
we’d sing the songs on friday night, throw bottles at the wall
and i hoped that this would change my life, let music say it all
and when that top came off, my soul started talkin’
i and everyone around me understood
where the bubbles were, that’s where i started walkin’
oh and every bottle brought me up
and that was good

and i know that i should say, iooking back i feel regret
but i have a million memories too precious
to forget

but i must have been asleep when someone opened up the sky
when they tore away my scalp and put in the evil eye
when i awoke my sheets were soaked, the sweat
was drippin’ from me bed
there were needles in my eyes and the worm was in my head
oh, i jumped right up and then i felt a different kind of pain
and i knew that things would never, ever be the same again
i sat on the thirteenth stair until the sun moved to the west
and i prayed into my hair until the demon wanted rest
when morning came, i fell asleep
it must have been two days
i walked strange halls, i punched the walls
got lost inside a maze
but it must have been when i was dreamin’
an angel came and stopped the screaming
gathered soft around my bed
they touched my brow and held my head
praise god
well, it’s hard to stand beside a man who isn’t really there
so as friends departed one by one i gave a careless stare
my mind was spent on other things like the cold inverted doubt
as i thought the thought that might suggest there’s only one way out
and the walls had closed in all around me
i was lost and no*one found me
swam to shore and fought for air
and thank god there was no*one there
thank god

i’d have worshipped at her feet, i would have took her as my wife
i’d have pledged my very soul and then laid down my very life
oh but all that stood for nothin’ as my mind slipped into h*ll
and i lost her to the real world where saner men do dwell
then my mind was filled with thoughts of violence
screamed into the empty silence
threw away her jugglin’ b*lls
and i tore the posters from my walls
but angels came and stopped the slaughter
showered me in holy water
they pushed away the devil’s dance
and handed me a second chance
praise god

- ciaran murphy

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