episode 9: aiden's bad word - combofun scripts lyrics
vox: okay, aiden, i have to run to the store really quick. can i trust you to stay home by yourself?
aiden: by myself?
vox: yes, by yourself. don’t do anything wrong. just sit right here for like five minutes and i’ll be right back
aiden: can i pee in the sink?
vox: no
aiden: can i pee in the bathtub?
vox: no, you know what, aiden? whatever. you have to come with me
aiden: okay
*in the car…*
vox: alright, we’re at the store
aiden: what’s a store?
vox: it’s a place where you buy stuff
*dr. flugslys walks in front of vox’s car, vox brakes*
vox: oh my* jesus!! get out of the road, you fishstick!!!
dr. flugslys: can you give me some change?
vox: i don’t have any change! just go away! jesus, the nerve of people
aiden: fishstick?
vox: w* aiden, don’t say that word
aiden: why, fishstick?
vox: that’s a bad word. i didn’t mean to say it, i was just mad
aiden: *turns to dr. flugslys* you’re a fishstick!
vox: aiden, don’t say that! *turns to dr. flugslys* go away!
aiden: go away, fishstick!
vox: no, shhh! aiden, don’t say that word
aiden: alright, fishstick
vox: no, aiden. it’s a bad word, stop it!
aiden: okay, fishstick
vox: aiden!!
*vox pulls up to walmart parking lot*
vox: ok, aiden. we’re at walmart, so can i trust you to stay in the car and be good?
aiden: no
vox: *sighs* way to be honest, aiden. well, okay, we’re gonna go in the store for like five minutes. i gotta grab a few things, okay?
aiden: okay, fishstick
vox: and don’t say that word!
aiden: alright, fishstick
vox: aiden!!
*in the store*
vox: okay, aiden. i just have to get a few things from the store, okay? so just please be good
aiden: okay, fishstick
vox: aiden, don’t say that. we’re in public, just stop it! *turns to the shelf of lightbulbs* okay, lightbulbs. i need a normal lightbulb
husk: *angrily* excuse me? what did you just say?
vox: *nervously* i* i* i need to get a normal lightbulb
husk: a normal lightbulb? why does it gotta be normal, huh?
vox: because it’s perfect, look behind you! it’s the normal lightbulb, that one!
husk: why can’t you just get the hazbin hotel collab one, huh? hazbin hotel won’t do? it won’t work for you?
vox: i mean, it’s* i’m pretty sure it’s fine, but i just eed a white one
husk: so hazbin hotel ain’t good enough, huh?
vox: what* it* it is*
husk: is that what you’re trying to say? are you just being offensive to the hazbin fans? you’re nothing but an offensive boy
vox: wha* wha* no, i’m sorry. i just need a…
husk: apologize right now! hazbin hotel matters! season 2 drops on october 29, 2025!
vox: o* okay, i’m sorry
aiden: hey, fishstick
vox: aiden!!
husk: excuse me? what did you just say?
vox: i’m sorry. that was my* that was my adopted son. he*
husk: so i’m a chicken finger, huh?
vox: no, i have nothing against you
husk: you know what? call me out of my name one more time, if you just* ooh i swear to god, say one thing, i swear!
vox: *turns to aiden* aiden, don’t say anything else, don’t say that word
aiden: okay, fishstick
vox: aiden!!
husk: *angry* wait, you’re calling me a fishstick again!?!! *beats up vox*
*in the car, vox having a black eye*
vox: aiden, sit in your seat and put your seatbelt on!
aiden: fishstick!
vox: aiden, no! you got me beat up at walmart for saying that word. sit down, just wait till we go back to combofun industries
aiden: fishstick!
*in vox’s room*
vox: okay, aiden. you’re gonna sit there in time*out, and think about what you did!
aiden: what did i do, fishstick?
vox: stop saying that word!
aiden: why, fishstick?
vox: aiden, stop it! *sighs* i’m just gonna call velvette
aiden: okay, fishstick
*later, velvette is here*
vox: h*llo
velvette: vox, what’s wrong? you sounded really upset over the phone!
vox: i am upset!
velvette: what’s wrong?
vox: it’s aiden!
aiden: what up, fishstick
velvette: aiden!! where did you hear that word!?
aiden: *points to vox* vox taught me
velvette: vox!!
vox: i can explain. you see, me and aiden were on our way to walmart, and a random guy jumps out in front of my car and i almost hit him. so i was really mad, and i said “you fishstick!” and aiden heard me, and now he won’t stop saying it
aiden: fishstick
velvette: you can’t say those things in front of him. he’s very impressionable, his mind is like a sponge
vox: i know
aiden: fishstick!
vox: aiden, don’t say that word!
aiden: what word?
vox: fishstick!
velvette: vox!
vox: what?
aiden: fishstick!
vox: aiden!
velvette: don’t say that word anymore!
vox: what word?
velvette: fishstick!
vox: hey!
velvette: sorry
aiden: fishstick!
vox: aiden, if you keep saying that word, i’m gonna fl!ck you on the mouth!
velvette: vox, you wouldn’t!
aiden: fishstick!
vox: aiden! i will fl!ck you on the mouth if you say fishstick one more time
aiden: then do it, fishstick!
vox: that is it!! *fl!cks aiden’s mouth*
aiden: aah!!
velvette: vox, stop!!!
vox: *continues fl!cking him* you made me do this!!
*minutes later, vox & velvette on the couch, velvette crying*
vox: i think i dealt with that situation very maturely
velvette: *voice breaking in sadness* y* you didn’t have to be that hard on him, vox
vox: what are you talking about?
velvette: you hurt him!
vox: hurt him? no, i just fl!cked his mouth five times, six times the most
velvette: five times too many!!
vox: well, he’s a tantrum kid!
velvette: i’m gonna go look for him
*velvette looking for aiden in the kitchen*
velvette: hey, aiden? where are you?
aiden: *in one of the cabinets, silently crying*
velvette: oh, there he is. *opens cabinet* aiden, how are you doing?
aiden: *silently crying*
velvette: are you okay?
aiden: no, my lip hurts
velvette: i know…
aiden: vox bruised me
velvette: no, he just fl!cked your mouth. he was very upset
aiden: no, velvette. he was grabbing me by the neck, punching me in the face, knocking my t**th out, and shoving me in lockers
velvette: no, aiden. that didn’t happen
aiden: yes it did… fishstick?
velvette: *tearing up, angry* yes! yes he is!!
aiden: vox, you’re a fishstick!!!
velvette: come on, aiden. let’s go get ready for bed
*velvette tucking aiden into bed*
velvette: alright, aiden. just try to relax now, and in the morning you’ll feel better and you’ll forget everything.’
aiden: forget? how do you forget bruising!?!
velvette: aiden, he didn’t bruise you. he just fl!cked your mouth, that’s all
aiden: what’s the difference?
velvette: aiden. just try to relax, alright? love you!
aiden: love you
*velvette walks out and closes the door, but aiden pulls out his phone to call 911*
jax: *on the phone* 911, what’s your emergency?
aiden: mr. police officer man? vox bruised me
jax: w* what!?!
*meanwhile, velvette & vox on the couch*
velvette: well, i tucked aiden into bed
vox: you know, all i did was fl!ck him
velvette: i don’t want to have this conversation!
*they both hear a knock on the door*
vox: w* who could that be?
*vox & velvette go to the door, and jax as a cop is there*
vox: h*llo?
jax: yeah, i got a call here about a bruising
vox: w* what?
jax: yeah, i got a call from a child saying he was bruised
vox: w* what?
jax: yeah, and i forgot my hat. i’m all kinds of ticked off! so which one of you is it? *turns to vox* i’m looking at you, tall guy! people who are tall are clearly people who hurt people
vox: wait, wha* i* … *remembers aiden* oh… aiden. he has a phone. come inside
jax: i was about to come inside before you said it
*jax, vox, & velvette on the couch*
vox: aiden! get in here right now!
aiden: what up, fishstick? ya wanna bruise me again?
velvette: don’t say that!
vox: aiden, there’s a police officer here
jax: is that the kid?
vox: yes, officer. this is aiden. now, aiden. tell the nice police officer exactly what happened
aiden: …*points to vox* he bruised me
jax: *angry* oh, really now kiddo? i knew it was the tall guy!
vox: i didn’t bruise him. i’ll tell you exactly what happened. earlier today, me and aiden went on a drive to a store and a random guy jumped out in front of my car and i almost hit him
jax: you almost hit someone with your car?
vox: i did not hit the person, he jumped out in front of* nevermind whatever. anyway, the person made me mad and i yelled “fishstick!” at him, and aiden kept repeating it. he got me beat up in a store, so i fl!cked him on the mouth for saying fishstick, and now he’s saying i bruised him
jax: oh, so you hurt a child! *turns to velvette* is this true?
velvette: y* yes… he did fl!ck him.. on the mouth really hard… m* multiple times!! *bursts into tears crying*
jax: oh, that’s it vox! you’re coming with me!
aiden: bye, vox! don’t get beat up or bruised!
*the news comes on*
blitz: breaking news! the worker for voxtek industries has been accused of child abuse, and vehicular assault!
*end of news segment — vox comes back*
velvette: what’s up, ya wanna hurt aiden again?
vox: i’m out on bail, and i got my driver’s license suspended
velvette: well, at least you won’t be able to run over any people!
vox: i didn’t hit him with my car!
velvette: that’s not what the news says!
*news comes back on*
blitz: and we have an interview with the guy that got hit by the car, goes by the name dr. flugslys. let’s go to that
*the news cuts to dr. flugslys standing outside*
dr. flugslys: that car came out on nowhere, broke my arm, fractured my skull, ran me over multiple times
*end of news segment*
velvette: *turns to vox* vox!!
vox: oh, come on! i didn’t hit him with the car, he was trying to get a check!
velvette: oh, whatever!
vox: where’s aiden, by the way?
velvette: why? so you can hurt him again? fatty!
vox: what!?
velvette: fatty fatty fat fat fat!
vox: where did that come from!?
velvette: i don’t know, i’m just really upset, okay? poor aiden
vox: well, where is he?
velvette: he’s in los angeles doing an interview
*cuts to the intro to the dr. blitz show*
blitz: h*llo and welcome to the dr. blitz show! i’m here with aiden, who was allegedly bruised by vox. i know this is difficult to talk about, but in the best way that you can, please describe the situation that happened in your own words
aiden: *crying* well, vox, he uh… he kept grabbing me by the neck and punching me in the face.. and i screamed and i cried.. but he* he didn’t care.. he just kept beating me up and shoving me in lockers, and i cried and cried, and he said, “you’re gonna take it!” and i took it!
blitz: *concerned* my goodness… i am so sorry, what a fishtick! everyone, what a fishstick!
vox: what is going on!!? i did not do anything! all i did was fl!ck his mouth!
velvette: well, you didn’t have to be a fishstick!
the end
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