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lirik lagu •nine• – crowned in chains

•i’m worn
i’m worthless
i’ve been through this cycle before
i’m torn
i’m uncertain
can i keep you all leaning forward?

i can’t afford the future
i can’t live in the past
i can’t stay in this same place
writing • from behind the gl-ss•
i can’t give what they want
i can’t grow this thing
i can’t grow, still on the hunt
i can’t grow the peasantry

so do i fall?

screw it, i’m here again
told myself to wait longer
but i need the expression
can i keep on breathing?
co2 reaches the ceiling
oxygen is low, i’m reeling
lacking feeling
no healing
so help me
i hate seeking -ssistance
but i’m fearing this distance
no growth, new fans aren’t listening
no merchandise sales, hit me
wake me up, or is the nightmare real?
am i seeing my p-ssion crash
while i’m behind the wheel?
can i keep steering straight?
i drift to sleep, the car spins out, i’m dead
i don’t know how to move forward
can someone help plan my next step?

i’m caught between what was and what will be
i can’t stay in this pressure
i have so many plans
but no way to reveal the treasure
the fans are hungry, soon they’ll leave
and i’ll be alone, like letters
anaphora, that emptiness wants back inside
stop
no more chorus
no more verse
no more lyric form
no more rhymes
this is what it is. strip the poetry and symbolism. i need help. i’m trapped in here, and i have no way out

but i can’t tell you where i am until the time is right
but the time can’t be right until the money isn’t tight
but money will be tight until the sales take flight
until the numbers rise
no radio, no interviews, no way to shine a light
no way to win this fight
ok, so… social media? wait, no one cares, that’s right
i’m frustrated
un-aided
done waiting
impatient
i’m jaded
no playlist
please play it
listen, mate, the
heartrate is
untreated
unbeating
love me
just
please
i’m sorry peasantry but i’m not as strong as you think
i let it get to me when dm’s tell me i’m ugly
i let it in my veins when i’m told i deserve to bleed
for trying to become another copy of tøp
that was never me
but wait, am i?
they said i am
i double-check
have i been me this whole time?
i second-guess
am i a mess?
i am, but they attack my mind
negativity inside
its blurring the clear lines
i feel no fear for where i want to be
i fear if i’ll make it or not
i fear of what happens if oxygen runs out and i die and my body begins to rot
if i never break out then they never will and then i have failed to live my purpose
maybe i deserve this
time to return to the song form
here, run it back, re-read the chorus

so do i fall?

i know this one is long
but i have held it in too long
i need your help
please spread the word and hold onto these songs
please tell me when i’m doing it right
and help me out when i’m wrong
and help me to block out the hate i get
his army messages me all day
they keep on coming in strong
i always hated seeking help
but i can’t stay this way
i burnt out, out of shape, out of ways, to grow this thing, i need some saving grace
so carry me
carry me
carry me
carry me
carry me
carry me
carry me from this place

so do i fall?

i hope not
but honestly this part is up to you
so don’t drop
me into the bottom
tell them that you’re stoked
watch the live streams, get the jokes
spread the music, let it grow
i’ll leave just one more verse
and then i’ll have to go

•nine• minutes of writing
that’s what this is
the exact time was eight minutes
and 21 seconds
but you get the gist
i could sit here and list
trial after trial
ache after ache
there is still so much pain trapped in my brain
i’ll let you in
just call out my name
i’ll show up, let parade around inside my pain
cuz that’s why i’m here
to try to k!ll your fear
your emotions are normal
you can conquer them here
but think about the others out there fighting
let’s recruit them
grow the peasantry
and increase the lighting

so do i fall?

- crowned in chains

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