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lirik lagu i deserve this (ft. scarlet moss) – cut me some slack

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i deserve this (ft. scarlet moss) lyrics
verse:
almost the end of the semester
middle of the winter and the weather’s gray just like my mood
failing three classes, giving up on recovery
i’m too busy trying to fix the person i am
because the person i am is a lazy, rude, self absorbed sack of sh*t
top it off with a healthy dose of argumentative aggression and you’ve got
one h*ll of a b*tch

bridge:
i am so sick of school
i am, so sick of responsibility
i am, so sick of being me
i am, so sick of sobriety, and sanity, and trying my f*cking best, just to be inadequate

verse:
senior year and i’m focused, on not f*cking dying, making it through, and getting better while i do
my relationships are all strained and i know it’s my fault
the only f*cking constant in all this awful sh*t is me, maybe i really am worthless
and my new outlook is “i deserve this”
in the face of every last d*mn problem

so i, will get out as fast as i can
change my name, legally
get a job just for the résumé building
get a car, beaten and on the verge of collapse, isn’t it poetic?
drive this thing across the country, or at least until the engine gives
or i crash myself into a ditch
hop trains until i forget my own name and face
stumble out into every new city
lost and alone beats surrounded by disappointed faces
can’t hurt anyone when you’re in solitude
buy an apartment, or squat in an old building
become a shut in
never hurt another soul
die old and alone on the shore of the west coast
never write another f*cking song
never sing another word
i’m an awful sh*t and i don’t deserve the popularity
i deserve this
i deserve this

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