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lirik lagu witcher 3 vs skyrim rap battle – davinhi1, thesourceofthenile

skyrim:
today i’d like to welcome you to the continent of tamriel
specifically skyrim, land of the nords who say words with j’s like fjords
but the truth is being swedish is not the f-cking point of this rap
in fact i’ve got your good old friend witcher 3 here in a trap
specifically i want to dis this game by calling it a piece of cr-p
but that’s not the only point
for i sit here smoking yet another joint
thinking of the world i conquer in this wonderful world around me
thinking of what kind of character today i’d like to be
in the land of skyrim we have thousands of quests
hundreds of mods to resize women’s br–sts
not only women we have beast races like argonians, khajiits and orcs (ew)
while on the other hand your game is played by a bunch of f-cking dorks
i can make my game look better than real life
even have kids with my own wife
ysolda who gives me money just for being with her (like anyone)
my game has hours upon hours of lore
daedric princes who will turn any man into any kind of wh-r-
i can even build a house with twenty five quintillion doors
while on the other hand you can’t build a house
even get a pet mouse
to have your companion even wear a different kind of blouse
wow that’s so much f-cking customization
you buddy, need to make a f-cking realization
that your game needs some heavy medication
in order to be enjoyed

witcher 3: northern kingdoms, nilfgaard… represennntt uhh north side uhh northern kingdoms
ugh finneeee, my name is witcha
i’m here to beat cha, so you bettah get tha pictcha
in my game you can play many of times without having to think of a rhyme
no mods? you’re fine!
open world, open city, and i don’t do things out of pity
i’m a cold, heartless menace, growing old, not playing tennis
i have feelings, for my girl ciri. won’t stop at anything to find her
even if that means butchering the emperor and bangin’ yennefer
putting eredin in a trap, as ge’els advised, from velen to skellige, many surprise
2 playable characters, one male, one female. get your game to scale
what’s that? you’re looking kind of pale. so sit down with some bitter ale, and join me, and live to tell the tale
i have a great storyline, hours of play, characters are memorable, while yours will fade away
skyrim was good for it’s generation, but step up now cuz the bar has a higher elevation
witcher 3, story will give you great sensations, so step down, and feel the vibrations. (ohhh)
2 swords, silver and steel, drowner marrow, mmm my favourite meal. (ohhhh)
so skyrim, gonna be whiny and squeal, or will you get that i’m better, and bend and kneel?

skyrim:
the land of skyrim spans over 24 square miles
i know you’ll say that your games is larger
but i didn’t even include what is indoors and underground
walk one foot and a new location and found
on the other hand i find that your game is empty
nothing to explore but woods and trees
no good dialogue with npc’s
next to zero f-cking explorable cities
you can do quests, that will put your sk!ll up to the test
and get tons of loot after this funfest
it’s an alchemist’s dream, fight your battles with your own team
got lydia and shadowmere on my side
go into battle with a bow and ride
then after all that i’ll craft with a deer hide
smith my own weapons and armor
while geralt has to find his own smith
and buy all of the materials that he will have to craft with
for so much f-cking money
it’s not even funny
the land of velen is so dark and depressing, it’s not ever sunny
skyrim’s so fun i can play for days
your game smells and tastes like mayonnaise
my game shines with the brightest of rays
by the nine divines and not the eight
your game reminds of the thalmor, filled with hate
i even got mods that will make lydia felate
and creation kit gives me a whole new world to create

witcher 3: you talk about map size, but do you understand, that i’ve got the upper hand?
over 90 sq miles, burn all the mages in a pile (oh yeah)
speaking of teams, i got an army. a whole school of witchers
so go drink your drink full of barley
i hunt down my enemies, one by one
once i get eredin, you’re done
your horse vs a bear? i can’t even have it outrun
one blow with my sword, and you’ll be stunned
the way my game begun? very well done
so son, what do you say?
get that filthy game out of your head and away?
why don’t you sit down, and play?
or is it because i require a beefy computer?
my game is cooler, why don’t you see that?
is it because all your players are fat?
or can you not understand that we have multiple parts to the map? (oh)

- davinhi1 thesourceofthenile

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