lirik lagu the fat man (clean version) – deadly ever after
[hook + intro] everybody loves the fat man
and oh how the fat man can love (x4) yo, the fat man, clean, chick
don’t mess with me or i’ll blow up like a d-mn landmine
and cut in front of a black man in the kfc line
well, at least i even graduated from college
cuz those first twelve grades didn’t give me no d-mn knowledge
and you could even set a world record
how bout “how many times can you get your head bit off by a golden shepherd”
or “how many offensive things can you put in a rap song”
(i don’t know, like 25?) come on, chick, let’s all sing-along
on stage, the ladies gon’ all throw they bras
except for when they realized i broke the law
when i took a hiatus from rapping, i got a 9-to-5
you brothers better be glad i’m even alive
that was hard, harder than me watching lauren
while she’s getting poked by a thorn
eating candy corns, and it’s not even halloween
and i thought she was a he when she stood up to take a wee-wee
the police siren go wee-wee, let’s go
there was this one young -ss fellow
he did a lot of heroin, the name i can’t say
and he was really mellow, but his brain was gone to mush, like f-cking jello, he was so g-y
and his favorite band was n’sync
he would listen to “bye bye bye” while in the skating rink
and he would always threaten to snipe me with a heat-seeker
and he would smash my d-mn face on top of a parking meter
[hook]
[verse two]
did you drink booze and apple juice
that’s the best mix when you see tom green hump a dead moose
i hate when i hear someone got arrested
then i think “how many offensive jokes can i make before i get arrested?”
and my old house is infested
with some rhymes i never had
one rhyme was called “i have a dad”
that sounded sad
and if it did, i’m glad
i mean, that would be rad
what if pouring salt on a snail
would get you 25 to life in jail
everybody hates the fat man
but they love the skinny
man, i’m seeing all yellow
god d-mn it, pooh, the, winnie
saying gold digger more times than kanye west
when i got a lot on my mind, i just count sheep, i go to rest
i don’t know what anything means
the only thing restoring me is crying myself to sleep
my car broke down and i’m walking down the road
my luck, i crash the god d-mn car in drunk mode
then i order a mail order bride that i don’t even need
then for the real effect, i do the overload on weed
then i take a real big bite of a big mac
breath so f-cking bad you need some kids and a tic-tac
doing a rap battle and my opponents so wack
this dude’s disses be hurting my f-cking back
[hook]
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