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lirik lagu past dweller – decline of order

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“i’m sick of dwelling in the past
can’t i just think of things that make me laugh?
i keep having dreams of gurney and a body bag for my body
just one second to let this life pass
i’m trapped with these thoughts every day
an absent father, a guilty conscience
torment with what i could have done
for some reason when i was young
i thought the only way out was to run
i don’t mean to be so blatant
i’m trapped under chains
there’s no place where the pain went
but i know one thing for sure, i cannot end this
i have to be hеre until the ending
torturous thoughts until my еnding
threats, threats, treading on the threats
why don’t you try something?
oh, you make me laugh
believe i had this goal, a goal to die
life don’t make sense and it never will
only thing that numbs me is when i pop a pill
a goal to die
countless new beginnings, life is just a game i play
substance and regret until the grave
a constant fight i’m fighting every day
would you be better off without me?
my mind likes to think so
i’m sick, sick in the head
always daydreaming of my death
silence is the only way, so i will silence my life
satisfaction is impossible to find”

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