lirik lagu adam vs eve – epic rap battles of history
epic rap battles of history
adam vs eve
begin!
[verse 1: eve]
this battle’s gonna end like every argument does
with you kissing my -ss and begging me for a rub
i made a map motherf-cker and i’m reading it too
gives me specific directions how to f-ck with you
i know that you like to think you’re so macho
but you smell like b-llsacks and nachos
i work. while you and your boyfriend steve
drink and play sports in a fantasy league
you’re as sharp as a stick, that i rub on my lips
so go ahead take a shot, i’m sure that you’ll miss
like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list
if you’d stop f-cking up i wouldn’t have to get p-ssed
[verse 2: adam]
my life was fine ’till you had to come along and wreck it
could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?
you cry about everything, but can’t decide what you want
“i’m hungry”, “i’m fat”, “i’m cold”, “i’m hot”
you call it complex, but yo i’d call you a mess
you take two hours to c-m, three more to get dressed!
you got a lotion for this? got a cream for that?
got any perfume that smells like get the f-ck off my back?
when things are good they’re great, and it’s like i’m dreamin’
until your junk starts bleedin’ and you turn to a demon
it ain’t summer eve, don’t try to play me like a douche
you wanna bite on my fruit well you can swallow the truth!
[verse 3: eve]
don’t. even. bring up swallow
the first man on earth ain’t a tough act to follow
one pump chump and you’re hung like a weasel
ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle
you want alone time? have it! in fact
suck your own d-ck, and shave your own back
that apple’s the best thing i bit so far
now i see how much of a d-ck you are
[verse 4: adam]
i wasn’t listening, are you still flapping those lips?
i was just thinking, yo did i give up a rib for this?
woman, i just don’t know what your problem is
all i know is you’re acting like a colossal b-tch!
[both: shocked silence]
adam:
i’m sorry
eve:
…i’m sorry, too
adam:
alright, nice!
eve:
don’t even think about it!
adam:
okay, that’s fine, we can eat
who won? who’s next? you decide!
epic (oh yeah) rap battles of history!
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