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lirik lagu erb parody: thomas paine vs james chalmers – gary: the new shady slim

[verse 1: james chalmers]
being so radiant, crew calls me candidus
i’ll smoke t-paine so hard they’ll call him cannabis
preaching independence? yo it seems mighty petty
leaching labor off of fellows named benny
first we got franklin, lookin’ like a turkey
then we got bl–dy rush, evade from his gurney
your hasty thinking leads to the shed of bluth
we should stay attached to britain, that’s the plain truth

[verse 2: thomas paine]
can’t understand the arguments ya spittin’
evidence so weak, couldn’t flip flop a clinton
criticizing b-franks seems mighty silly
he loves to go postal and you love his little willy
then we got the doctor with all his sick flows
breaking apart your psyche, for which he is a pro
the kings and parliament impeach upon your freedom
patriotism blinds you, ya can’t even see ’em

[james chalmers]
if we separate, we will surely regret it
our government’s a felicity, we are truly indebted

[thomas paine]
government has really lost the badge of innocence
we should overthrow a king that harms his citizens

[verse 3: james chalmers]
the government’s faulty, due to traitors like you
not conforming to the crown, if the colonies withdrew
our british empire will cease to get bigga
you know my facts are accurate
i’m sidin’ with my n-gga

[verse 4: thomas paine]
well, if you really stand with ’em, give ’em freedom
stop making them work and don’t mistreat ’em
but just like john adams, you’re a hypocrite
and that cr-pulous m-ss can stick a sword in his double chin
this political quack will crack you into two
my headstone will read me a legend… what about you?
a man in paradise with nothing to show for it
but an irrelevant service and the writing sk!lls of a nugget
no one got what you’re really saying, kid
you gotta write for everybody, even the uneducated
’cause when you write, it don’t mean spit
but when i write, it gets pamph-liiiit

[verse 5: james chalmers]
you bring up adams, but adams was right
he was just the first one to bring it to light
you really know what i’ll be remembered for?
beating you here and k!lling you in the pamphlet war

[verse 6: thomas paine]
only thing you’ll win in a battle of irrelevancy
while i put out works that still stand reputably
now you can’t walk around and be dense
cause if you don’t know, now you know
it’s common sense

- gary the new shady slim

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