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lirik lagu twelve/wilderness – jj shadow

“twelve”

yo
i’d rather f*cking k!ll myself than even try getting better
with these public health systems yo that sh*t happens never
cause our buildings aren’t the flyest but there’s enough sky rises
that are high enough for me just to fly, not like a pilot
i been worried bout my fam and my friends
cause half of them are sick as f*ck the rest just want it to end
i can’t pretend like there’s no problems in this country
when half the pеople are junkies
othеr half always searching for something
but yet we always say it’s nothing
i think about my mother and how she was treated
one day she woke up half deaf next she’s barely breathing
vertigo is sure to throw her off her balance
she could barely move so me and uncle had to call the ambulance
she was in hospital for days, they sent her f*cking home
without a single diagnosis like they lack chromosomes
i don’t know what’s going on i was worried she might pass away
got f*cked around for plenty months until we found some pay
finally went private through that work insurance sh*t
then this specialist done came along and threw a f*cking fit
turns out she had a stroke and we didn’t even know
all happened because of covid could’ve found out months ago
i’m not mad about the wait i’m just happy she got options
but when they laid out the plan that’s when i got toxic
these f*cking people emailed her and sent her the deets
she needed rehab and all of it had came with a fee
how the f*ck do you expect her to get better on the bene
then profess you wanna help us while you begging for some pennies
when my nana got dimensia they said they were gonna check on her
then left us to our lonesome for 7 years i reckon that they
wanna try and tell us that this healthcare is free
which is way f*cking better than the sh*t that’s overseas
but we only got attention when we had to pay a fee
so it might work out for you but it didn’t work for me
i thank god for the whānau and her work
who actually understood what happened to her
cause acc didn’t
and even work and income said it wasn’t health
made her go on jobseeker what the f*ck is that about?
what if it was someone else and a family they’re without?
if their boss don’t give a f*ck then i guess they’re getting kicked out
now they’re left all alone and probably gone homeless
they find a gun on the streets and blaow they’ve gone domeless
even if none of this happened still
i haven’t been the same ever since i turned 12
i been living in h*ll in my mind
all this responsibility is k!lling me
i don’t know if i’ll be fine
cause everyday i wake up, i feel so hopeless
i just don’t know if i can cope with this
cause i can’t f*cking deal with this
so i’ll escape into the wilderness
“wilderness”

rest in peace mac miller
shout out lil b
i found myself in the dark when i thought i couldn’t see
they been asking where i been
i been running from my dreams
but i know that there’s no escape
i wish i could get away from me

i don’t wanna but i might k!ll this sh*t
just for the motherf*cking
for the thrill of it
they gon find you in the motherf*cking wilderness
g i been
i been k!lling it
but i can’t
but i don’t wanna deal with it
they gon find you in the motherf*cking wilderness

i been lost for a minute
every single day i’m tryna decease
what?
i’m a god in an image
i am really who you trying to be
i don’t wanna be in harms way
i got feelings that i can’t change
y’all gon take this the wrong way
but i feel like a young kanye
you’ll never see me again
they been k!lling sh*t
but i can’t
and i can’t even deal with it
you can find me in the motherf*cking wilderness
cause i just can’t seem to find my way
i been feeling like this gonna be my final day
i just wanna
i just want escape
they gon’ find me when the time is right
come with me baby
let’s go to the wilderness
let’s go to the wilderness
f*ck the world, we seen this sh*t
let’s go to the wilderness

- jj shadow

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