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lirik lagu not in scotland – kaelin halcrow

everywhere i look, people look like they just stood on a sh*t
they turned their frown upside down then they turned it around again
everybody lookin’ like they got a problem
and they do. they live in scotland

where the sky’s always grey, and it’s always raining
so the conversation’s always about the rain
but hey that’s okay because the summer’s comin’
but wait that’s worse ‘cos we complain that it’s like an oven

what am i to say about my population
when they all look like they’re halfway through a castration
it’s amazing what you see on thе streets of glasgow
it’s got all the rotten peoplе god didn’t want on his rock

so he squashed them all in one spot so every day on the train there’s an
onslaught of scots who are the opposite of hot
and it doesn’t stop there, when you get out the train station there’s

women with children looking angry as f*ck
small dogs whos’ walkers look angry as f*ck
there’s adolescents together who are out to have fun
and guess what? they look angry as f*ck

you never know who you can talk to and if you choose wrong
you get stabbed. so there’s that
best just not to interact. that seems to be what we’ve adapted to
so you better keep your head down, look at the ground
and if you wanna look around then put on a frown
you wanna seem as uninviting as possible
that way, fighting is optional

i’ve found that if you talk to your phone people don’t wanna bother you
you’re left alone in solitude
unless they want your phone. in which case you’re f*cked

good looking scots
where have you gone?
please come back
gerard butler

pretty girls are everywhere but not over here
they’re not in scotland. no * oh, oh * oh

good looking people are everywhere but not over here
they’re not in scotland. no * oh, oh * oh

back to how ugly we are, i was in the bar, and i saw
a man who’s nose was a clone of a mole*rat
and he was so fat, it shows that
he won’t, make it to christmas

that’s because half of the country is packed with pubs and kebab shops
so people are eating justin bieber haggis and
mars bars that have been deep fried
that’s not a lie by the way
and that’s why the people you see are a bit of bacon away
from a heart seizure
teresa may looks like an evil g*nius but not that smart, and a little bit uglier
and she’s the chika who’s been deemed our leader? she couldn’t lead a p*n*s anywhere near her
you got a droopy face, you could do with a jason mask
or a bag with a happy face drawn on

scotland got voted the most beautiful country on earth
that is the funniest thing i’ve heard since birth
so ima put the facts straight so you can make an educated
decision if you wanna visit

glasgow central station smells like sh*t

so, we know how repulsive all the citizens are
but what about the scenery? and beautiful greenery?
maybe if you go to the middle of nowhere
like tony blair, and just hang with the goats there

not much to do, which is all well and good
until it’s written in the stars: deep fried mars bar

green is pretty. the rest is sh*tty
but i want a chippy, so i’m headed to the city

off the train, greeted by the smell of ass
onto the street, stepping over broken glass
lookin’ at the walls, top to bottom in graffiti
walking on the grass steppin’ over strongbow cans
i gotta get off these streets and cheer myself up
find inner peace, so i head to the pub
then i’ll get some grub
get a deep fried ice cream or somethin’

good looking scots
where have you gone?
please come back
james macavoy

handsome gents are everywhere but not over here
they’re not in scotland. no * oh, oh * oh

good looking people are everywhere but not over here
they’re not in scotland. no * oh, oh * oh

- kaelin halcrow

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