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torn - mayfield lyrics

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i was caught up in the same routine of grinding out the day
tearing my flesh apart
trying to fight the urge to self-destruct
where did the light go?

a daily sacrifice of my body and my mind
to get where i want to be
we’re all in this together to make something of this life

i won’t shed another drop of blood for you
and i won’t justify my reasons i’m not like you
coerced into patterns of slavery
conceded by meaningless gain

i can’t remember what its like to love
i’m not as patient as i used to be
as i once was
don’t feel connected to anyone anymore
and i won’t fake this anymore

is there still something good in me?
i feel demonic on the best of days
we shy away from our deepest desire
when there’s no spark of resolution in sight

so i’ll medicate myself until i fall asleep
tell me you don’t do the same
waking up to every sunrise and living on repeat
is a deathly reaction to fear

so while you waste away your life
i’m after mine

this is not the life that i set up to live
and i can’t even escape myself
i’m holding on but still i’m losing my grip on this
there’s nothing left in me that you would want a fragment of
i’ll stay the clenching hands that tighten around your throat
i’ve sunken low, but i‘m ascending back to the surface

- mayfield lyrics

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