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lirik lagu lost arc of the cumenant – pandemonium auditorium

i. the beginning
(intro)
one day
that happened to be a thursday
pandemonium auditorium
found out about an item
so important
that no way in h*ll
it should fall into the hands of evil
so pandemonium auditorium makes plans
to retrieve the lost arc of the cumenant

(verse one)
there’s an item so important
that we must retrieve
before someone evil grabs it
and puts their grimy hands on it
it resides in the forest
in a temple underground
an item so sacred
the lost arc of the cumenant

we’ve researched this item
to know of its dark power
it can be used to take over the world
we must retrieve it
to protect the world
from evil
our calling has played
we must now go
and retrieve
before anyone
can get it
to use it for evil

so we’ve made our plans
gathered our equipment
emotionally got prepared
now it’s time to go

(ronzak: bryan, are you ready?!
bryan: i have got the map
ronzak: samual, you got the gear?!
samual: it’s all in the bag
ronzak: maxwell, you got the emergency weapons?
maxwell: what?
ronzak: the weapons. the emergency weapons
maxwell: no…?
ronzak: what the f*ck man?
maxwell: do we really need them? we have our effects
ronzak: then hurry the f*ck up. we’ve not got time to waste.)
and with that, we run out the porch door
may our effects lead us to victory!
(*the door slams*)

ii. the adventure
(verse two)
we are running now
to a field
we have started this adventure
the four of us
we run fast
well, fast as we can

all we can think
are all the evil people
having their eyes on the arc
we just can’t
afford for that
to go down

(verse three)
we can see the forest on the horizon
it feels so close, but it’s so far away
running isn’t fast enough
we need another way
then an idea hits
that was so obvious
like a flaccid p*n*s
flying in the sky

i recall back
when we were at my house
maxwell said something
about us having our effects

so i tell everyone
to go to the sky
because we can get there faster
if we fly

(verse four)
maxwell gets the hint
and takes out his comet
soars into the sky
i bet giving scientist a fright

samual takes out his jetpack
turns that baby on
activates the engine
the jets propel him up

i put on my rocket boots
press down my feet
and the fire
lifts me up

while bryan takes flight
for he already has wings
(lucky bryan
already having natural flight abilities.)

(verse five)
and so we fly to the forest
such a faster form of transportation
the forest seems like
just a hand touch away

now the forest encompasses our view
we go down to the ground
we have arrived
at the entrance of the forest

iii: the forest
(verse six)
we walk into the forest
bryan takes out the map
(bryan: yep, this definitely
must be the place.)

now there are trees everywhere
far as the eye can see
paths laid out in front of us
we need to find the temple entrance

bryan looks at the map
studying the paths
at first there no sound
(ronzak: i think we’re alone.)

but almost on cue
i hear a sound
i tell everyone to stop moving
and to quiet down

(verse seven: or “enter the chelhassi”)
(wario: alright. do you all understand the plan?
akzron: yes sir
*some goons are paying no attention.*
wario: listen here, if you two slack off again, i’m going to stitch both of your sacks to the middle of your face so you become testificates
luigi and mario: okay wario
wario: alright. that’s a threat by the way
wario: now we need to find that entrance.)

(verse eight)
i look into the distance
i think i see something
i tell samual
to take out the binoculars

(ronzak: what do you see?
samual: there’s a crowd in the distance
ronzak: do you know what type of crowd?
samual: it’s… it’s the chelhassi gang
ronzak: no way!
samual: it looks like… wario’s their leader
ronzak: oh boy. that’s a bag of d*cks
maxwell: who’s wario?
bryan: you’re a f*cking idiot
ronzak: you’re a f*cking disgrace, maxwell.)

(verse nine)
the chelhassi mob
is some bad news
organized crime
wants ahold of the arc too

(verse ten)
“well, it looks like we
have a fight on our hands”
maxwell says

maxwell goes
to pull out his sword
but bryan stops him

“that’s a bad idea,”
states bryan
“we should just find this entrance.”

“is it though,” maxwell challenges
“for they’re a threat
we need to take care of.”

but bryan has already walked off
into the distance
so we have to follow

(verse eleven: or “wario sings”)
(wario) remember
we’re taking the world
we’re gonna make the earth
our f*cking b*tch

everyone will kneel
and suck our shween
we just have to get
that lost arc!

(verse twelve: or “back to p.a.”)
we must find the arc
before chalhassi does
because no one knows
what will happen if they get it

we need to save
or the world’ll be slaved
we must now find
the lost arc of the cumenant!

(verse thirteen)
we have been walking for a bit
off of any path
for bryan is
following the map

then out of nowhere
maxwell suddenly slips
none of us
could see that coming

(ronzak: you okay there, maxwell?
maxwell: i don’t know what i tripped over
*ronzak helps maxwell get up.*
*ronzak goes down and moves dirt around*
ronzak: oh my, god!
ronzak: i found a cellar door!)

part iv: the temple
(verse fourteen)
this must be the place
this must be the temple
i open the door
we all look inside

what light shines in
offers nothing in the din
we need to go in
(we need to go in)

(verse fifteen)
a ladder goes down
maxwell enters
he starts climbing
down the ladder

but near the bottom
of the ladder
a rung was missing
and maxwell doesn’t notice it

in fact, none of us could tell
if there was a rung missing
so when we heard maxwell fall
we got worried

(ronzak: maxwell?
maxwell: yeah, i’m okay. it wasn’t far.)

so with that knowledge
it’s all good
so the rest of us
enter inside

(verse sixteen)
it’s pitch black in here
it’s where the sun don’t shine
for, after all
it’s a temple underground

i take out my fire gloves
to help light our way
but the light from the flames
isn’t enough

but i spot some torches
unlit, off to the side
so i grab them
and i light them

now we can go
deeper into the temple
now here we go
time to find that lost arc!

(verse seventeen)
then bryan notices something
something that’s illuminating green
he looks down at the map
and notices the green light
is coming from the map
the back of the map

(bryan: guys, i just found something
samual: what? what’d you find?
bryan: there’s another map on the back of this
bryan: it’s a glow*in*the*dark layout of the temple!)

(verse eighteen: or “realisation”)
and with this knowledge
retrieving the lost arc
shall be easier
but i know it’s not that simple

for this is a temple
a place of danger
a place of darkness
and a place of trials

part v: the trails
(verse nineteen)
we’ve been following the layout
of the temple
on the back of the map
for maybe ten minutes

then we walk into a room
scrupulous to an extent
and suspicious all the while
something is going to happen

then maxwell steps on a certain tile
it sinks to the floor
then we watch as the hall
opens up to an abyss

maxwell starts to fall in
i grab his arm
and pull him back
and we fall back to the safe floor

(ronzak: jesus christ, maxwell!
maxwell: i’m sorry! how the h*ll was i supposed to know it was a trap?
ronzak: we’re in a d*mn temple! expect everything as dangerous!
maxwell: okay, my bad
ronzak: you’re basically the child in the group
maxwell: i’m an adult
ronzak: you lack the intelligence
samual: uh, platforms just rose from the abyss.)

(verse twenty: or “the first trial)
i look to the hall
to see platforms
coming out
of the abyss

it seems they’re there
for us to jump on
there has to be another room
on the other side

then the ceiling
starts falling down
ever so slowly
motivation

(ronzak: okay, we got to do this carefully, but we can’t waste time
bryan: okay
maxwell: okay
samual: alright.)

(verse twenty*one)
we make our way
though the paths of platforms
at a constant rate
but being careful as possible

i can’t say i wasn’t tense
because if i said that i’d be lying
because the ceiling
keeps creeping down towards us

“how long is this hallway?”
i think to myself
“there has to be an end soon,”
i say to myself

i can see the ceiling
putting pressure on bryan
i grow more nervous
then in the distance, i see it

coming out of the benthic dark
is the image of an edge
then i see an entranceway
(ronzak: we’re almost there!)

i’ve almost reached the other side now
i can almost feel the safe zone
but the ceiling keeps pushing down
the doubt comes seeping through

but i finally reached the other side
and so does samual
and then does maxwell
but then i look at bryan

(verse twenty*two: or “a friend in a dire situation”)
i start to panic
when i see the ceiling
is very low
on bryan now

but he’s so close
but yet so far
it would seem he’s a lost cause
but i can reach out to grab him

i reach to grab bryan’s left wing
while samual and maxwell hold onto me
but it’s a big struggle
to grasp a hold on it

but i finally do
and us three drag
bryan into the next room
before the ceiling can crush him

when that trial is over
we look at each other
and then we all laugh
to relieve nervous tension

(verse twenty*three)
so after gaining our senses
after that nerve*racking rescue
we move forward
for we need to hurry
to obtain the
lost arc of the cumenant!

(verse twenty*four: or “a foreboding room”)
we enter a new room
that is cylindrical
with rocky platforms
suspended in air
down under
is a moat of water

in the center of the room
is a bigger platform
where in the middle
is a pedestal
with an item
resting on it

i don’t see a way up
if you fall in the moat
so if you fall
you’re b*tt*f*cked
i tell everyone to be safe
when walking to the middle

(maxwell: well, there might be a way up
ronzak: i don’t see any
maxwell: you never know if you don’t find out
ronzak: i’m not an idiot enough
maxwell: it’s just a thought
ronzak: that we should think of.)

(verse twenty*five: or “the second trial”)
we get to the center platform
and we find out that the pedestal
that an item is on
has a pressure plate underneath it
the pressure plate is being held down
by a key in a box

something needs to replace the item
for i bet we need to use it
we hesitate for a moment
then i take out my handheld radio
from my coat’s front pocket
i take out the sd card
and slide it back into the pocket
and i start to replace the item

i grab ahold of the box
and quickly slide it off
with the radio right behind
and i place the radio
on top of the pressure plate
but it wasn’t heavy enough

(verse twenty*six)
the room livens up
the ceiling starts to shake
the other platforms start to move in a circle
an entranceway opens up on the other side

(samual: holy sh*t!
bryan: what’d you do?
ronzak: i don’t know! was it not heavy enough?
maxwell: look! an entranceway opened up!
bryan: oh, would you look at that
ronzak: looks like that where we’re going to have to try to get to
maxwell: oh boy
samual: try your best not to fall.)

(verse twenty*seven: or “tragedy”)
we make our way to the moving platforms
it takes us initially by surprise
but we have to continue on
we need to get to the other entrance

but we eventually get to the side
bryan, samual and i
but maxwell is struggling to keep his balance
and he couldn’t get his footing

but he was getting to this entrance
and he was trying to stand up
but he was losing his balance
but he jumped anyway
and he didn’t get close
and he fell in the moat
then the ceiling collapsed
and the walls fell apart

(ronzak: god d*mn it!
bryan: f*ck
samual: i feel awful
ronzak: we* we have to move on)

(verse twenty*eight: or “the third trial”)
we walk into another room
that goes gradually down
then a monstrous, crashing sound bellows out
(ronzak: oh, sh*t! a f*cking boulder!)

we run like h*ll
to avoid the boulder
but we stop in our path
because there was a pit
that have spikes at the bottom
so now we know we have to jump over pits

and we kept on jumping over pits
but then we see a huge pit
and it’s at the end of the hall
so that means a leap of faith

(ronzak: we need to jump! now go!
*all three jump*
*the boulder falls down the pit*
*splash*)

(verse twenty*nine: or “sneaky little chelhassi”)
(wario: god d*mn it. how many did we lose in that last trap
akzron: seven, sir
wario: f*ck me. do you have the map?
mario: yes
wario: good. let me look at it
luigi: so where are we
*wario looks at their map.*
wario: it should just be this door.)

(verse thirty: or “the final door”)
we landed in a pool
when we got to the surface
of the water
we saw a door

i took out the key box
we got out of the water
i went to the door
and put the key in

i unlocked the door
and opened the door
this is the room
to the lost arc of the cumenant

(part vi: the arc)
(verse thirty*two: or “beaten to it”)
we enter the room
where the lost arc is held
only to learn
about something awful
the chelhassi mob
has beaten us to it

(ronzak: oh, god d*mn it!
wario: huh? wai* hahahaha. hahahaha! you were after it too? at the same time?!
bryan: mockery
wario: well, looks like you’ve lost, pandemonium auditorium! open up the arc!)

(samual: we need to fight them
ronzak: no, let them open it.)

(verse thirty*two: or “but their hubris”)
the chelhassi mob
went to open up
the lost arc of the cumenant
what a mistake that was

once they did
a bright light emitted from it
i told bryan and samual
to get down now

then odd sounds broadcast
out of the arc
and we hear the chelhassi mob
start screaming their lungs out

we dare not look up for a minute
just to be safe
until no light
is being shone

(verse thirty*three: or “the retrieval of the arc”)
we get up
we see the chelhassi mob
on the floor
all of them dead

no light is coming from the arc
so we feel safe to approach it
then we hear
a voice behind us

(maxwell: you left without me?
ronzak: wah?! god d*mn, we thought you were dead!
maxwell: yeah that’s fair. i don’t blame you
samual: how did you get here?
maxwell: there was a path down in the moat area
bryan: oh wow. we saw the room collapse
maxwell: yeah i know
maxwell: oh d*mn! did you k!ll the chelhassi mob?
ronzak: no, they cucked themselves by opening the arc
bryan: speaking of the arc, let’s go grab it.)

so we make our way
to the lost arc of the cumenant
we picked it up
and with bryan’s map
we carried it out
of the temple

(verse thirty*four: or “pandemonium auditorium saves the world”)
and with that
pandemonium auditorium
retrieve the arc
and saved the world
from being enslaved
by the chelhassi mob

they concealed the arc of the cumenant
out of the reach of evil hands
congratulations
pandemonium auditorium!

- pandemonium auditorium

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