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i lobster but never flounder - pinkard & bowden lyrics

[verse 1]
i was a cook
and she was a waitress
down at the salty sam seafood café
and somewhere ‘tween the clam juice and the seaweed salad
some little shrimp just lured her away

[chorus]
oh, i lobster and never flounder
he wrapped his line around her
and they drove off in his carp
oh, i lobster and never flounder
i octopus his face in
eel only break her heart

[verse 2]
i said, “just squid and leave me
for that piano tuna
if you want to trout something new”
she was the b-ss i ever had
now my life has no porpoise
oh, my cod, i love her, yes, i do

[chorus]
oh, i lobster and never flounder
he wrapped his line around her
and they drove off in his carp
oh, i lobster and never flounder
i octopus his face in
eel only break her heart

[outro]
“boy, i swordfish she’d come back to me, sandy
i’d sh0r- her a whale of a time”
“now, richard, you know she’d just pull that ‘not tonight, i’ve got a haddock’ routine”
“you’re probably right, but y’know, i’ve kelp her picture in my walleye just for the halibut
i wonder if she’s still got mine in her perch”
“did you, did you say ‘perch'”
“yeah, i’m afraid so”
“that’s good, for a moment there, i thought i was losing my
herring” -audience groans-
“well, we b-ss squid all this seahorsing around before these people out here go into a state of shark”
“yeah, if we get out of here alive, it’s going to be a mackerel” “frankly scallop i don’t give a clam”

- pinkard bowden lyrics

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