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lirik lagu castles made of sand – ren

[verse 1]
i was baptised by the heavens, i was walking in the rain
on a cloudy night in brighton, i was deep inside my brain
my tracksuits felt so heavy with my pockets full of pain
i wish this was a one off but the story is the same
as the day that came before this, the day that came before
command c, command v
copy and paste the day, the skies are grey
my nikes tread through puddles, the rain it dances by my face
[?] it detonates, a perfect hit coordinated
execute it, br*ah
carry troubles on my back
my legs, they get so tired cause my troubles they are stacked
like they’re jenga and then when the feelings hit like influenza
i just quarantine the struggle, cause it’s not on my agenda
push it down, don’t wanna deal with it, don’t wanna feel that sh*t
still i drown, man on a sinking ship, man with a big, gold chip up on my shoulder
man, i’m feeling so much older
why this world look so much colder?
why am i carrying this boulder? why’ve i carried it for miles?
and f*cking miles, and f*cking miles
am i on trial? tell me lord, am i on trial?
because it feels like it’s a sick joke
i’ve been sick for half my life
i’m sick, sick, sick, you’re feeling sick
quick, pop the blister, stop the fight, like
[verse 2]
i was scolded by the heavens, i was walking in the rain
on a cloudy night in brighton, all i seem to feel is pain
i zip right up my jacket, so my soul it don’t escape
it wants to break right out my body, but i don’t hold it to blame
i lay awake on aching nights
i contemplate and hate my life
just staring at an empty ceiling cause it reflects what’s inside
i can’t cry, i can’t cry no more
deeply did my [?]
asking why, why am i in this war?
why do you hate me lord?
why do you*

[verse 3]
fee*fi*fo*fum
i feel broken
smoking till i’m ill
let the pot rot my brain
watch it k!ll me soft like lauryn hill
fuji, life’s a movie, i’m clooney
driving a stolen suzuki
right off the edge of a metaphorical hill
k!ll, k!ll, k!ll, k!ll, k!ll, k!ll, k!ll your braincells
k!ll your altar
k!ll your good health
k!ll the coroner
i am a foreigner
inside my body a warrior
a worrying warrior
inside the corridor, inside my mind
holocaust
no support for these scary thoughts
i struggle in trouble
i’m struggling double
i’m doubly trouble
’bout all of the struggles
the ruin, the rubble
the hustle, the bustle
it buckles my muscles
i f*ck on my knuckles
i’m popping the bubble
[?] it’s a puddle
i’m subtly muddled
i’m mixed up, i’m puzzled
i’m perplexed, i’m perfect
i’m perfectly complex
my purpose and perspective [?] is defective
i, i’m so godd*mn bored
lonely metaphors
that i write
they don’t vindicate all the pain that’s poured on my life
i disintegrate
castles made of sand
they are white from the surface of this earth
and their impermanence is enlightenment
[outro]
at least, that’s what i think it is
i don’t know

- ren

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