lirik lagu dave’s dilemma – shotty horroh
[verse]
i got two whips and a nice family nest
i got two kids and a wife i have to protect
i’m the average guy, i work in the bank at a desk
if you’re cashin’ your cheques, i’m there at your request
but since we’re being honest, i feel sad and depressed
i think my marriage is dead and i got gamblin’ debts
i borrowed money from a gangster just to bang on a bet
it was only fifty grand but then they added the rest
and now i’ve gotta pay a hundred back
how the f*ck can i come up with that?
gotta think of something fast
yesterday, i ran my little son a bubble bath
and couldn’t find him anywhere
i wonder where he could’ve dashed
walked to the front to see him standing with another man
guy had gloves on, something in his duffel bag
gave my son a toy gun and told him to go bust his dad
told me that i got a couple weeks or else he’s comin’ back
that sh*t got to me bad
i hit the shop and bought every lock that he had
i put cameras on the walls and in the pots with the plants
i didn’t know technology had gotten so advanced
but sh*t, every pop or a bang
every time my wife was droppin’ her pans
every time i saw a new car pull up on the block, i was prayin’
i knew the cop wasn’t an option at hand
sh*t, i remember this convo’ i had
with my wife’s brother when we shared a bottle of jack
he said with my job i should be robbin’ the bank
and he concocted a plan, i just nodded and laughed
(haha, yeah? robbin’ it, yeah?)
but wait, maybe that could be the saving grace
maybe we could empty out the safe
pay the debt and keep the change
pack our sh*t up and escape
i can’t tell him the predicament i’m in, he needs to stay in the dark
he could tell my wife the truth and that could tear us apart
i know he’s got the heart to do it, it’s just, where do we start?
i told him, “yo, i’ll come and pick you up, wherever you are”
we made a plan, he would show up to the bank in a mask
grab me by the throat, then he’d brandish his strap
rough me up and tell me “put the f*ckin’ cash in the bag!”
and then he splits, and then we split the pot
it takes meticulous precision now to trick the cops
i won’t call them util you’ve driven off
then don’t call me until it isn’t hot
the day came faster than i thought it would
i clocked in for my shift like i normally would
deposited a quid for mr. hollimwood
finished with him, saw my wife’s brother start walkin’ up
he pulled the gun from the back of his jeans
he held it by the barrel as he swung and smashed in my cheek
i’m gassed in, i breathe, didn’t think i’d actually bleed
but they’re watchin’, and this is sh*t they have to believe
he told me, “fill it up or i’ma put a slug in your chest
and don’t you dare touch that f*ckin’ b*tton under the desk!”
it’s like he did this sh*t before, i was f*ckin’ impressed
i mean, he* “don’t f*ckin’ move, boy, you’re under arrest!”
there was a cop in the queue, i guess it’s one of them days
he told him, “put the gun down unless you wanna be brave!”
the guy looked right at me and he wasn’t the same
he turned around and shot the cop in the face
then took the guap and escaped
i was questioned at the hospital
they don’t think i did it but they reckon that it’s possible
i don’t wanna see no more detectives with a coffee cup
poppin’ up, stressin’ me, beggin’ me for a follow*up
i’m free to go, speedin’ home
i think we did it, keep it low
secret phone, speak in code
i’ll phone you when it’s over in around a week or so
so, wait, that was like a week ago
wait, yo*
[outro]
h*llo, dave, um
i don’t know how else to say this
so, i’m just gonna come out wit’ it
i’m not comin’ back, and i’m keepin’ it, all the money
shocker, i can’t come back
to be quite frank, i don’t think you need this money
you and my sister live in a big house with them cars
not one time have you guys ever helped me out
the only time you ever called me
was to rob a f*cking bank, dave
so, as you listening to this
i’m on a beach somewhere
sippin’ a nice drink, reading a book
and uh, from the bottom of my heart, dave
go f*ck yourself
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