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lirik lagu this past year i been… – skyler gluck

[intro: skyler gluck]
(internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it…)

“bro, oh sh-t it’s you man!
how you been bro? it’s been so long
oh my god, i can’t believe it’s you
how you been?”
…
[verse: skyler gluck]]
i been fixing my smile
been fixing denial
been fixing my al-
b-m sifting through files

i been fixing my style
trends, fits, and nostal-
gic, vintage, i browsed
this sh-t’s what i found

i been fixing surround-
ings meant to pull down
i been f-cking around
i been suffering now

been fixing my pouts
reminiscent of how
i grinned young as a child
malice floods in my bowels

i been hearing the foul
-lingering whisper- lingering sound
my ambitions are down
slit wrists i’m so proud

i been inching to dial
911
sick stomach in growl
make fun of it now

i been stuck in the house
one whiff of the crowds
ok, i should go now
b-tch, f-cking sit down

b-tch, f-cking sit down
b-tch, look at me now
count syllables, vowels
six devils here now

i been dealing with drow-
ning problems with al
drinks, drugs are in now
i been turning it down

i been turning down
i been turning it down
but i am about to -give in-

i been turning it down
i’m in front of it in now
i sip some of it now
f-ck, what am i now

admit that i need help
music, it doesn’t help
i wish, gun to my mouth
i wanna k!ll myself

i been writing it down
been singing it loud
i been riding it now
i been fine until now

dreamed high in the clouds
where rain drips on my scalp
legs rest on the tile
a metaphor for the shower

is this what life’s about
self-inflicted clout
wrinkles all in my brow
manifested renounce

i been trying to calculate it
it don’t workout
fixated jump from a balcony
a free fall i’m bound

been fixing my sound
been fixing my body
been sick of myself
i been next to n-body

i been winning my battles
through closed eyes in the shadows
of bruises while i drowsed
awake and escape the round

ground and pound what i found
intrinsic feeling of shallow
blends in with my moral
cringing until i shout “no”

i should throw in the towel
and no more wedding vow
cuz i’m an ugly coward
in fact this last hour

i been fixing my doubts
been fixing my voice
been fixing my life
but i still don’t rejoice

i been fixing my hair
been fixing my skin
been fixing my teeth
i been tryna pretend that i’m ok

i been fixing my face
been witnessing fake
friends tricking and take

been filled up with hate
fulfilled up in my vacant remorse
and i can taste it
and i don’t wanna be faithless

i don’t wanna be anxious
i don’t wanna be heinous
i don’t wanna explain this
i hate that i made this

[outro: skyler gluck]]
(internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it for me
internalize it…)

- skyler gluck

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