lirik lagu the unfortunate defloration of bud pluck – the captain kirk on lsd experience
once upon a time, somewhere in the depths of sp*ce, there was a planet, not known at all, but former called “planet *n*l ice”, certainly a strange place in many ways
it’s civilization was ruled by a king called “king orc*assmatron”, who did not allow virginity in his kingdom. in order to make sure that no one in his land remained a virgin, he set up the highest law, that stated that each citizen at the age of 16 had to be brought to his castle so “orc*assmatron” could f*ck him or her and take away his or her virginity
and he was very successful with it
however there was one citizen that has never been touched by king orc*assmatron and he certainly was very, very proud of it. his name was citizen bud pluck the needlebear. needlebear was both his nickname and the reason for him still being a virgin
when he was 16 and in front of the king, his pants were pulled down and both king orc*assmatron and his guards were shocked to see that bud pluck’s ass was hairy and full of nails and needles, so that king orc*assmatron was unable to steal his virginity. bud pluck indeed was a special boy born with some strange kind of mutation. king orc*assmatron was furious, when he noticed that there was one of his citizens he could not f*ck, so that he banned citizen bud pluck and had him taken far away from his kingdom
eversince that day citizen bud pluck lived alone in a forest called “st. c*ckwood the forest”
one day it came to bud pluck that he was not going to live alone any longer as “almost*16*girl”, who fled from king orc*assmatron came to his house urging him to help her
as soon as bud pluck saw her, he felt in love with her. so bud pluck let her into his house and let her live with him. both of them eversince lived together peacefully and happily
one day, almost*16*girl, went out to got some crabs for dinner. so bud pluck was left alone in his place. getting crabs usually takes almost*16*girl two hours, but strangely, that day she returned only 4 minutes after she left. bud pluck was wondering, but let her inside after all
she immediately started seducing bud pluck and asked him wether he wanted to try something new. when she told him she was going to b*ttf*ck bud pluck, he first was surprised, but not disgusted after all. so, both went to the bedroom and started it off
almost*16*girl certainly knew about bud plucks *n*l mutation and was well prepared as shed had all the necessary tools to get rid of bud plucks pubic hair and nails and needles
when she had finished shaving and twisting out all the nails and needles, she started getting out of her cute, pink, little fairytale*dress and started to f*ck bud pluck
when that happened bud pluck was wondering how almost*16*girl was able to f*ck him as he knew they never owned a d*ld*. when he turned around, he was shocked as he looked into king orc*assmatrons smiling face
king orc*assmatron had stalked almost*16*girl and had somehow traced back her way to the forest. that day, he had waited for her, caught her and k!lled her after she had left the house. then king orc*assmatron had put on her dress and cut off her hairto wear it himself, in order to look just like her
bud plucks face was red with anger, his heast immediately filled with hate, anger and pain. he kicked king orc*assmatron in the b*lls, took on his interg*ylactic winchester he had always kept hidden under his bed
he pointed the gun at king orc*assmatrons c*ck and shot it off
after was bud pluck shot king orc*assmatron in the head, his brain splattered the wall behind him and down went king orc*assmatron, lying in his own blood and guts
once that was done, bud pluck packed his belongings and returned to the kingdom from which he was banned
arriving there, all of the citizens were happy to see him as they thought they were now delivered. the citizens immediately crowned bud pluck king. the next day after that had happened bud pluck changed the law king org*assmatron had once set up
first, the citizens were happy when they read about the law change, but soon when they realized what the law change was about, they all went mad
bud pluck had only changed the age for defloration from 16 down to 12
and bud pluck and his citizens, well, f*cked happily ever after
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