lirik lagu original version – zach braff
jd: hey, ms. miller
we just need a stool sample
ms. miller: why do you need a stool sample
if you think i’m just a nut?
jd & turk: cause the answer’s not in your head, my dear
it’s in your b-tt
jd: you see
everything comes down to poo
from the top of your head
to the sole of your shoe
we can figure out what’s wrong with you by
lookin at your poo
turk?
turk: do you have a hemeroid
or is it rectal cancer?
when you flush your dookie down you
flush away the answer.
jd: it doesn’t really matter
if it’s hard or if it’s loose
we’ll figure out
what’s ailing you
as long as it’s a deuce
yes!
everything comes down to poo
cardiovascular and lymphatic
yes, the nervous system, too
all across the nation
we trust in defecation!
everything comes down to poo!
turk: if you want to know what’s wrong
don’t sit and act so cool
just be a man
and eat some bread
and drop the kids off at the pool
patient: my stomach hurts
jd: check the poo
patient: i sprained my ankle
turk: check the poo
patient: i was shot!
jd: check the poo
lloyd: a homeless guy threw poo in my eye
turk: check the poo
lloyd: mine or his?
jd: first him, then you
it may sound gross
you may say shush
jd & turk: but we need to see
what comes out of your tush
because!
ensemble: everything comes down to poo
whether it’s a tumor or a touch of the flu
jd & turk: please won’t you pinch us off a big fat clue
turk: our number one test is your number two
ensemble: if there’s no breeze
light a match please
everything comes down to
jd: doodoo
turk: doodoo
jd: doodoo
turk: doodoo!
ensemble: everything come down to
poo!
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